The father of the bride speech does two jobs at once. You are often a host, so you welcome everyone and thank the people who helped. You are also a parent watching your child begin a new part of life. The best speeches handle the practical part briskly and leave room for the personal part to breathe.
What the speech is for
Guests are not waiting for jokes from you. They want to hear what your daughter was like as a child, what you admire about her as an adult, and that her partner is welcome in your family. A little humour helps, especially early, but sincerity is what people remember from this speech.
Families are more varied than the old traditions suggest. You may be speaking with the bride's mother, as a stepfather, on behalf of a parent who has died, or for a couple of two brides. Adjust the welcome and the names; the shape of the speech still works.
Structure
- Welcome Welcome guests on behalf of your family, and the other family by name. Mention anyone who travelled far.
- Thank-yous Helpers, the venue, the other parents. Put the names on one card, spelled the way they are said.
- A memory from growing up One short story that still says something about who she is.
- The person she is now What you admire, said directly to her.
- Welcome to the family A warm line for her partner and their family. Something you have seen them do for her is better than general praise.
- The toast Ask everyone to stand and drink to the couple.
Sample father of the bride speech
Good evening, everyone. On behalf of Anne and me, welcome. A special thank you to Daniel's parents, Rob and Linda, and to everyone who travelled, some of you all the way from Canada.
When Sophie was six, she ran a library out of her bedroom. She catalogued every book, issued cards to the family, and charged late fees. One bedtime story per day. I still owe her, by my count, about four hundred stories.
She is still the person who keeps everyone on track, and she is still scrupulously fair. Sophie, I have never been prouder of you than I am today.
Daniel, from the first dinner you came to, when you washed up without being asked, we liked you. Today we are glad to call you family. Please stand and raise your glasses. To Sophie and Daniel.
Read the complete father of the bride speech example, with thanks and a longer tribute, and open it as cue cards.
Getting through the emotional part
Most parents worry less about the jokes and more about their voice going. A few things help. Rehearse the tribute card out loud until the words feel familiar; it is usually the first reading that catches you. Write that card in full, in a larger font, so you do not need to search for words. Add a [BREATHE] cue before the line you think will be hardest, and let yourself pause. A few seconds of silence feels long to you and perfectly natural to everyone else.
If someone is missing, such as a parent who has died, decide in advance whether to mention them and exactly what you will say. One sentence, written down, is usually enough.
Cards for the day
- Six cards, one per section, numbered. The template sets these up for you.
- Large print, at least 18 point. Reading glasses can be left on the table by accident.
- Rehearse with the timer in rehearsal mode and aim to finish within six minutes.
Start with the father of the bride template. For general advice for every wedding speaker, including holding cards with a microphone, see wedding speech cue cards.